I am having one of those days... I am having a hard time with my emotions today, I find that I am comparing myself to others, and feeling bad about myself. I can't control my reactions to my children. I already have a hard time being patient, like most parents, but today I am just overreacting to everything. I yelled at Xander for the dumbest little thing and it sent me to tears. I feel so bad for the way that I have been treating him lately. He is such a great kid and just wants to share everything with me (which has been frustrating this week, because he was always wanting to talk to me while I was reading 'Breaking Dawn'!) I love him so much, but he just sent me off the deep end today. I retreated to have my little cry and Mara found me. She was so sweet and sat in my lap and let me hold her while I cried. She even made little pouting sounds with me. All of this just brings up my frustrations with life, and I just need to vent them out! I am so tired of my weight. I have never been one that likes to exercise, and that just adds to my weight problem. It's so hard to get into that frame of mind to do it. Right now I am in a good frame of mind and am walking a mile each morning, along with a little extra on our Wii Fit. But my main problem is eating, so the weight is not going away. I am such a weakling. I love food too much and that's my downfall. I had been doing ok this week, but last night I splurged and now I feel so fat. I am just having a hard time keeping a positive attitude, because the results that I want aren't coming fast enough. Then there are other things in my life that I want and I just can't have right now. I am so beyond ready to have my own house, but I know that won't happen for another year or more. I really want to be pregnant, but it is so the wrong time in our lives, hence not having a house of our own. Some days I think I'm doing well in dealing with the fact that we have to wait, but then I find out that more and more of my friends are pregnant, and so it brings up all those emotions again. I just feel like my life is in this indefinite holding pattern and I can't go anywhere. I just really need something to start going my way. I guess it all boils down to patients. I feel that I have been really patient in my life, but it's starting to wear thin lately and I just need a boost to get me through the next year. So hopefully things will look up soon.
Sorry for the rant, but I just had to get it out somewhere and this is where it ended up :)
7 comments:
Did we just have the same day or what?
AMEN!!! to you, I say. Call me when you find the magic "30 pounds off pill" because I need it! Heck, I'd love 40 lbs! AND I'd love to move back to Utah.
I hope your day gets better. Know that I understand and LOve you!
oh my word...I was just about to do a post almost exactly like yours! It HAS been really frustrating lately. Don't feel bad, 'cause you're not the only one who a)gets frustrated with their kids and freaks out at them b)is frustrated about their weight & loves to eat (at least you are exercising-which I am not) c) is frustrated about the pregnant thing.
hang in there, sister!
Breanne--I love you so much! Hope you know you can call me anytime to talk. I understand and have felt all of those same things. I wish there was an easy answer. But, I do know that you're weaving in a beautiful thread to your blanket that can only be seen from the underside, at present. But, when it's flipped over, the design will be clear and beautiful. I'm trusting that to be true myself.
love you!
I feel y our pain so much. I get frustrated all the time, I think it comes with the job. I also want to have another baby so bad, sometimes I don't know why because I get frustrated with my kids but part of me wants one more. Also ever since I think we graduated from high school it was my goal to lose a lot of weight and look amazing but unfortunately that isn't going to happen and I am not going to shock people at our reunion into not recognizing me because I don't think many will remember me as it is. Fortunately you have family that will help you remind you that your weight is not who you are and to accept yourself no matter what. I hope you have better days soon!
I'm SO there with you!!!!!!!!! I've been having the same issues lately. Stupid weight! I cried myself to sleep after seeing the above pictures of us at lunch and Courtney's reception. It's hard to remember everything we do have when we're focusing on the negative - but sometimes we just can't help but focus on the negative. Hope your day is better. LOVE YA
Girl hang in there. I think we all feel that way sometimes...I love you and I love when I see you thta you smile! Please believe in yourself!
Breanne, you have so many great friends that left you nice comments. Isn't it nice to know that we have all been there in one way or another and at least we have each other and we love each other. That is what gets me through sometimes. Thanks for sharing your feelings.
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