Things I miss...

I Miss My Dad.

I have been thinking about this day and dreading it. I can't help that it comes around every year. It has been 5 years since my dad died. I get so emotional when I think about him lately. It is harder this year, because it is 5 years, if that makes any sense. And it's also the same day of the week that he actually died. It has been hard, thinking about what I want to say, and to convey my thoughts in an orderly manner. But with emotions involved, my thoughts are sporadic. But these are the things that I miss...

• I miss his smile, no matter what, he could always make me smile with him, even if I was having a bad day. He could always make me happy
• I miss his hugs, he always made me feel safe


• I miss his sense of humor. It was definitely one of a kind


• I miss his enthusiasm. He would do things whole heartedly, like fly fishing and tieing flies, or his garden train, or any household repair.


• I miss his love for Halloween :) Our house would be the coolest house on the street for Halloween and kids would love to come and see what was new.


• I miss his love for music. He loved Celine Dion and Gloria Estefan and would just listen to them with the volume up all the way :)


• I miss his love for good movies. After I got married he converted the family room in the basement into a home theater. There are movie posters and seating for the whole family. He was so proud of his work that he would show it off to anyone who came over. He would show certain clips from his favorite movies to show off the sound system :) If we watched a movie with him, we would have to be silent. He would shush us if we talked :)


• I miss his love for my mom. When he looked at her, you knew he was in love and would do anything to make her happy.


• I miss that he isn't here to be a Grandpa. My nephew Max was 6 months old when he died, and I was pregnant with Xander. That has always been a hard thing for me. I wanted my children to know him, because his dad died when I was about Mara's age, so I don't have any memories of my grandpa.


• I miss the way he ate M&M's :) He would take a handful and shake them around in his hand then pop a few in his mouth until they were all gone


• I miss the way he would always support us kids. Even when he didn't agree with what we were doing all the time, he still showed his love for us.


• I miss the little games we would play, namely he would say "Guess what?" Then I would say "What?" And he would respond with "I love you!". I came to find out that he only really did this with me, and in turn I have started to do it with my kids :)

I'm sure there are more things that I miss about him, but I can't think of them right now. He was such a great man, and a wonderful example to me.

I Love You Dad!